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my thoughts on making the most out of all of life's minutes…

My advice to newlyweds – – it’s not what you’d expect….


On Friday, some good friends’ young daughter is getting married.  I say “young” because while she is the same age I was when I got married (twenty-one) –  today, to me, that seems so young.  I often wonder – what were my parents thinking, letting me get married so young.

Alas, this October, my husband and I will be celebrating our 20th anniversary – — soooo – maybe we’re doing something right?

Over the last 20 years, three bits of advice on how to have a successful marriage have stuck with me.

  1. As told to me from my mom’s friend a few days before my wedding – “Have something in common that is specifically for you as a couple.  Then have something that is exclusively yours.”
  2. From Dr. Phil  – “Marriage isn’t 50/50 – – it is 100/100!
  3. From Oprah – “It isn’t a good compromise if someone walks away happy.”

All three of these words of wisdom have stuck with me throughout the years and they pop up in my head from time to time – reminding me of some basics to keeping a good marriage.

If I could give one bit of advice to my young friend – it would be simple – – don’t fart in front of each other.

Seriously – don’t do it.

In twenty years – here’s what I’ve learned.

Right now – everything is  young, perky, funny, casual, lustful, easy.   Sadly – all these feelings will calm down at some point.

You are going to see each other at your worst and hopefully, when the times get tough,  you will trudge through them and get past it.  But when you are at your worst – either you are sick or selfish and that person who is your favorite today  -won’t always be your favorite and farting, while it is funny now – – is not going to be funny then.

Soon the tight butt and perky boobs aren’t so tight and aren’t so perky – and while you grow and mature with each other  – I hope acceptance of change does too.

But farts are loud and they stink and as you grow and mature – – well they just get louder and stinkyer!   And when the times are yucky – – farts are really yucky!

Seriously – – if I could change one thing about what I’ve done in my marriage – it would be to keep some things to myself – – and farting would be one of them.

How about you – – what advice would you give newlyweds?

Hope you have a great day!


PS – it is hard for me to say or write the word “Fart“.  That was a taboo word in my house, growing up.  I understand that sometimes, things slip out – those are “toots“. For the sake of this blog today – Farts are intentional.


Author: amymunns

Finding more minutes in your day. Specializing in time management, goal setting, prioritizing tasks for small business, busy professionals and active families.

4 thoughts on “My advice to newlyweds – – it’s not what you’d expect….

  1. This is great – thanks!!

  2. This is beautifully written Amy and very poignant. My friend Dawn absolutely subscribes to this philosophy — she says it creates a “just one of the guys” relationship with your spouse. Being “one of the guys” isn’t “young, perky, funny, casual, lustful, easy” — and does not lead to the kind of long term passion that MAKES a 20 year marriage fulfilling!

  3. Sally – that is the perfect way to describe it!

  4. Pingback: Marriage advice: Support spouse by respecting his routines – News Sentinel | How To Save My Marriage From Divorce

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