Minute by minute

my thoughts on making the most out of all of life's minutes…

Thursday’s Take – Just let me vent

2 Comments

My older son started third grade the Wednesday after Labor Day.   So this week marks the end of two and a half weeks of school.

As I’m sure with many school districts across the country, we’ve had to deal with some changes due to staffing based on enrollment numbers.

Last Friday, an email came from the superintendent explaining that enrollment numbers were lower than projected, thus, there would be the need to move some teachers around from one school to another, thus leading to shuffling some students into different classrooms.

This is a less than ideal way to start the new school year, in my opinion (or IMO if you read yesterday’s post).  Kids and teachers need the first few weeks to get acquainted , learn the new routines, and just get the wiggles out.  In addition, teachers use the first few weeks to assess where each student is academically.

As a result of the decrease in enrollment numbers, my son’s school lost two full-time teachers this week and has shuffled probably half the students into new classrooms or different configurations with split classes.   Again, less than ideal.  Tomorrow they will be hosting a Reboot 2012 – and basically start fresh and treat tomorrow as the first day of school all over again.  Two and a half weeks later.

My friend posted on her Facebook status on Monday saying that she was hoping for strength and patience for the teachers and staff at our school with the decisions they’ll need to make and with also all the changes that are occurring.  I backed her up and commented on her status that I was concerned with the changes, and I was as it was the beginning of the week when there was still a lot unknowns.

One of the comments on her thread from a friend of hers basically said  “it could be a lot worse, a kid in my kid’s school just got diagnosed with leukemia.

I had a couple similar comments to a status I posted on Tuesday afternoon saying I was frustrated, irritated and concerned with the changes that were being made at school.  And in turn, some of my friends replied to me, that it could be a lot worse and went on to give examples of who they know are in worse conditions and situations.

OK, I’m probably going to sound heartless now but here goes.  But first let me say, I consider myself a positive person and usually after I’ve processed a new situation (which might include a bit of venting and/or complaining) I usually turn to and roll with the punches, trying to find the best way to make lemonade out of lemons.

Here’s my point for today:

I get that there will always be worse scenarios than mine.  I fully admit that I live in a bit of a Norman Rockwell world.  I acknowledge that my life is much easier than others.

But because of all that, does that mean I should not be given the ability to process a sudden and potentially big change that has been thrown at me unexpectedly????

Timing people – timing.  Do I really need to have a sick child’s situation thrown in my face six minutes after a statement is made?

I get that the situation of a child with leukemia is AWFUL.  I have not idea what that entails, but I can imagine that learning that your young child has a life-threatening illness is probably the worst situation a parent can find themselves.   And I get in the whole scheme of things, yes, shuffling around students and disrupting their new routine is minimal compared to that.  But you know what – I still should get a chance to process my situation and then be allowed to move on and deal with it.

So again with timing – – if my rant and rave (which in my defense, wasn’t really all that, it was more of a statement of frustration) continued into next week and next month or even the next day – then yes, by all means…put me in my place and remind me of how worse the situation could have been, and how worse other situations are.

I would also say this on the flip side if I was expressing my joy over a happy occasion.  I’m not sure I’d really appreciate anyone coming up to me saying “sure, your news is great, but I know of a situation that is even better.”

So how did it end?  About thirty minutes after my frustrated status on Facebook, I felt better.  I vented a little, got my frustrations out, received some reassuring and positive comments from friends and  I felt much better.  It cleared my head and I was ready to move forward.

I just needed the time to process it all.

What do you do?  Do you rant and rave or can  you see the bright side right away?

Happy Thursday,

~Amy

 

PS – a not so related part of this story was….my origianl Facebook status was on Tuesday afternoon.  Wednesday morning I woke up to an email from a reporter from the local newspaper asking me if I’d like to make a statement on the changes at the schools.  Talk about Big Brother feeling…I mean, I know Facebook tracks stuff…but this was creepy. How in the world did I get on her radar and why was she contacting me regarding this?   I called her back mainly to see how she got my contact information.  Luckily, she got it off the PTA website, I happen to be the secretary on the PTA.  If you’d like to see my quote:  here it is……

 

Advertisements

Author: amymunns

Finding more minutes in your day. Specializing in time management, goal setting, prioritizing tasks for small business, busy professionals and active families.

2 thoughts on “Thursday’s Take – Just let me vent

  1. There is another way to look at those that offer the “things could be worse” comments. They are trying to help. They aren’t helping I get that (boy do I get that) but I’ve learned to accept the fact that their ill-timed remarks are efforts to help. Personally, when I’ve been handed a crisis, problem, issue, abrupt change, etc., I am in the moment trying to get a handle on whatever it is and how I need to deal with it. And being in that moment my sense of perspective is askew. I’m in that place where this issue is occupying my focus and the fact that there is this problem suddenly landed in my lap is overwhelming. I’m trying to figure out where to begin picking up the pieces, how to make a start on dealing with it, whether or not there is anything constructive I can do about it and where my responsibilities for the issue rest. In that moment (however long it may last before I start to have a handle on things) I only see that specific problem because that’s what’s on my plate to deal with. I personally don’t find it helpful to have people telling me how things could be worse but I have gotten to a place where I can acknowledge that the “things could be worse” crowd are trying to help by offering me a bigger perspective within which to process the issue. No matter how much it isn’t helping or how much I it feels like they’re trying to deny me my way of coping with the unexpected I believe they are offering me support of the kind they would like to receive if they were suddenly coping with the unexpected. For me putting something in a larger context doesn’t help until I’ve spent the time necessary to scope out the problem by itself but judging by the comments that come our way for many having a bigger issue against which to measure the one you’re looking at must be a huge comfort. Anyway, enough of my rambling.

  2. You are totally right. Yes – they are just trying to help. They probably don’t really know what to say – so they go with “it could be worse.” But you’re right again “they aren’t helping, I get that.”

    Thanks for the comment.

Now it's your turn...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s