I’m guessing that most people read the recent Time magazine article about Attachment Parenting. Or maybe if you didn’t get a chance to read it, you certainly heard the buzz around the cover and got from comments what the article was about.
I don’t normally read Time, but I was curious about this article, so I picked up this issue.
Here are my thoughts on Attachment Parenting…
I don’t like labels.
So for that matter, I don’t care much for labels like “Tiger Moms”, “Grizzly Moms”, “Soccer Moms” and “French-style Mothering” and whatever other labels there are out there.
I think the reason I don’t like to subscribe to one dogma of parenting style is because it is too limiting. I don’t want to be placed in a box and only be able to determine what is best for my kids based on a few guidelines.
My style of parenting is called “Tim and Amy Parenting“. (Tim is my husband and the father of our two sons – ages seven and three.)
What I have learned from my two sons is that both are very different and both require a different approach when it comes to parenting. And to try to fit them into a prescribed method, doesn’t seem fair to them or to me as a mother.
Here’s our approach when it comes to parenting:
- Consistency is key.
- Flexibility is key.
- Don’t approach every situation for every child, the same way.
- Trust our instinct.
- Take examples from our parents and how we perceived our childhood – what we liked and didn’t like about it and apply them to our children.
- Take examples from our sisters, cousins and friends – see what works and doesn’t work for them and determine if it might work for us too.
- Children need lots of love, patience and understanding, but they also need a dose of firm discipline every now and then.
- Communicate with each other what works and doesn’t work and try different things – always adjusting.
I am lucky to have two really good friends in my “village”. One is a teacher and the other, a family and child therapist. I strongly recommend getting some friends like these. I have a Business degree and we didn’t learn one thing about the development of the brain and how children process things. (But I can tell you all about how supply and demand works with kids…..it is very simple, really – if they demand it – you better supply it!).
Seriously, my two friends are a source of expertise that I routinely rely on. They offer my insight from their experience and knowledge that I’d have to find else where if not for them. If you don’t have friends with this knowledge, I suggest books or search for other sources of help like your family doctor or your pastor. I’ve read many parenting books and always walk away with some sort of new knowledge or new tool in my belt. I even learned something from the Time article.
For me – I don’t want to be put in a box and then try to cram my kids in there with me too. I feel I owe it them to listen to their needs and watch their personalities and work my molding of them in ways that they will respond best.
Good luck with that parenting thing!
Thursday’s Takes are my personal opinion on current events or just random thoughts. I’d love to hear what you think…leave your comments below.