Minute by minute

my thoughts on making the most out of all of life's minutes…

Thursday’s Take….Just to be clear – I’m not criticizing this mother

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I just want to make it clear  – – this is not about blasting another mother.  But I wanted to share and give you my view-point on this….

A couple of weeks ago, my son came home with this note:

I will admit, at first I was taken aback and a little irked by this note.  I felt immediately sorry for M.  I even had to ask my son who M was.  Because there was no address or other information, I didn’t realize it was our new neighbors who had just moved in about two weeks prior.

I thought about this note for a very long time, it haunted me.  But after awhile, it finally hit me.  And I immediately felt sorry for the mom.

The society that we live in these days put a lot of pressure on us.  I think moms are harder on other moms, especially if we don’t know them very well.  I think we personally put too much pressure on ourselves.

Here is what I know about M’s situation.  They had just moved into a home in our neighborhood two weeks prior.  M is in the first grade.  He has a three-year old little sister and an eight month old little brother.

So the line about “I can’t find the invites” was probably right on!  I’m sure her house was a mess and very unsettled at the moment.

Yet she still felt so much pressure to throw a party for her son.

I wish I was a closer friend to her or I wish she had hired me as a time-management consultant, because the first thing I would have said to her was “M’s party is going to have to wait.”

Why is it that we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect?  Why do we put up this front that “I can do it” and then kill ourselves trying?

I truly believe it would have been totally OK for M to have his party a month late.  I think it is OK to share with M something along the lines of “life has interrupted the normal routine and your special day will still be very special, it’s just going to be on another day this year.”

Please Ladies, fellow moms, friends….let’s stop doing this to ourselves and to each other.

What do you think?  I’d love to know!


PS – Will you help me sell 100 copies of my eBook, Making Time for Dinner this month?  Buy your copy today and ask your friends to do the same.  And thanks!


Author: amymunns

Finding more minutes in your day. Specializing in time management, goal setting, prioritizing tasks for small business, busy professionals and active families.

One thought on “Thursday’s Take….Just to be clear – I’m not criticizing this mother

  1. I don’t know…this could be her big old f* you to any societal pressures she may or may not feel to have the perfect invitation/party courtesies. I think it’s way too difficult to try to understand a persons situation when, as outsider, we really have no way to know what her motivations were or were not. It could just be pressure from her son himself or she may really just not care much about putting together the perfect party. I wouldn’t feel sorry for her. Some people live in chaos and don’t necessarily care too much what others might think and having a ‘casual’ invitation might not bother her too much. If we feel one way or the other (sorry or irked), well then, we are judging her and then we are putting pressure on her. Ultimately, we are all responsible for ourselves and what we do with any judgements/pressures is on us. On the flip side: so as to avoid pressuring someone, if I got that invite I would just go to the party and not think too much on it. I don’t blame society or other Moms for what I may feel obligated to do…at least not yet. I haven’t yet encountered the school years and I’m guessing I might get judged a bit more and then we shall see…

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